Carnival weekend was everythingggg. The femme & butch queens are outsideeee and living 🙌🏿. I’m usually out of town this time of year so being here most this summer gave me an in to finally get on the road. That said, J’Ouvert was something I had never experienced and I think was definitely the moment I’ll hold onto forever. To see grown, straight, not pressed about the carceral state, black men and women in a state of “glee and play” was something I don’t think I’ve seen in… well forever. Glee that wasn’t centered in machismo or sex but a “youthful state” on the canvas of a 7am morning sunrise. A childish, joy from my black folk under the watch/ pressure of tons of helicopters, the most police presence in NYC parade history (more than they put at New Years Eve according to the police commissioner) and more. It was a symbol for just how persevering, unshakable and astonishing our spirit is. How full that blackness looks with Caribbean people included. It’s why they fear and in turn are amazed by us. I’m of course preview to seeing us queers make space/ time for joy but to see that from our people at large, at that scale WITH us black queers, touched me. @loka.000 and I talked for hours about the nuance we navigate here in the West, Global South and it was all a reminder of just how eloquent we are as black people and especially black queer people. The rich history of J’Ouvert and Jab Jab turned into ceremony of play & rebellion?! // That day I thought a lot about my lineage but specifically how my Trinidadian stepfather kept my household coming to Carnival and multiculturalism in my upbringing aside from all his issues. How there was a tension of assimilation vs pride. A tension that goes back generations. There is so much more for me to get into here… but I’ll leave it by saying s/o to my sissies for such a fab weekend and for building this world around me to not only keep my heart lifted in dark times but grateful, learning and healing.
